Katti Jisuk Seo

Coaching Insights

Positive Gossip

2024, May 18

I recently attended a global conference for Solution-Focused Practitioners, and it was mind-blowing and spectacular. One of the many things I loved about the conference was how much positive gossip people engaged in about their colleagues, mentors, and others. I realized this had three effects on me: First, I got to learn fascinating things about others. Second, it strengthened my trust in this community, knowing that people speak appreciatively behind each other's backs. And third, it inspired me to notice qualities in others that I might otherwise take for granted.

Positive gossip can be a powerful tool to nurture a culture of kindness, appreciation, and curiosity. You can do it as a proper team exercise, but also just casually get in the habit of it in your daily work or personal life. By asking these questions to others or even just to yourself, you can shift your focus to the things you appreciate in others, enhancing relationships and community spirit.

Questions to Inspire Positive Gossip

  1. What do you appreciate about [person's name]?

  2. What is something you admire about [person's name] that they might not know?

  3. Share a moment when [person's name] made a positive difference in your life or work.

  4. What unique perspective, talent, or vibe does [person's name] bring to the team or to your friendship?

  5. What is one thing you appreciate about [person's name]'s approach to challenges?

  6. How does [person's name] contribute to a pleasant atmosphere in the workplace or social gatherings?

  7. What is a small act of kindness that [person's name] has done for you or others?

  8. In what ways does [person's name] show dedication and commitment to their work or to your relationship?

  9. What is something [person's name] does that often goes unnoticed but would be sorely missed if it weren't done?

Team Exercise: Positive Gossip Triads

  1. Divide the group into triads (groups of three).

  2. Two people talk pleasantly about the third person, sharing things they appreciate or find impressive.

  3. They take turns speaking, responding with "Yes, and…" to add more appreciative comments.

  4. The person being discussed listens quietly.

  5. Rotate roles so each person gets a turn to be the focus of pleasant gossip.

Katti Jisuk