Coaching Insights

Returning what‘s not mine to carry

2024, june 5

I return to you what you’ve knowingly or unknowingly passed on to me and what is not mine to carry.

I learned this phrase during my coaching training, and it often works wonders for my friends, my coachees, and myself. You can think of it when you feel you’ve picked up something from someone else that doesn‘t belong to you — maybe it’s misplaced anger, an unfair judgment, or someone else’s projections. Sometimes, these things might not even stem directly from another person, but from a societal system. I love this phrase because it’s non-blaming and liberating.

Exercise: Internal Visualization

  1. Find a quiet space where you can sit comfortably without interruptions.Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to center yourself.

  2. Visualize the person or or system to whom you want to return something.

  3. Imagine holding what has been passed onto you as a tangible object, like a ball or a bundle. See yourself holding it in your hands.

  4. Mentally return this ‘object’ to the person or system. As you do this, you can say :

    “I return to you what you’ve passed on to me — knowingly or unknowingly — and what is not mine to carry.“

  5. Optionally add a thank-you: If you feel a special connection or gratitude, you can add

    “Thank you for all the good that has come from you to me.”

  6. Release the visualization and open your eyes when you feel ready.

Katti Jisuk