i don‘t want to grow

2024, april 24

i find the personal growth metaphor a bit outrageous, tbh, especially as a tiny-sized human in a world full of height privilege and an obsession with upscaling in general. we always talk about wanting to grow, which suggests that bigger and more is the desirable thing. it’s about time we celebrate some smallness. who says we shouldn’t want to be smaller? let’s flip the script. instead of saying i want to grow, let’s say i want to shrink, or instead of saying, i’m here for personal growth, say i’m here for personal shrinking. haha maybe that’s why therapists are called shrinks.

ps: my friends and i now find ourselves in the habit of neither saying growing nor shrinking, but densifying. as in, i’ve learned so much from my deep shit point last year. i’ve densified big time. i like densifying because it makes me picture cotton candy and the moment when i take it into my palm to squeeze it into my fist and make it small like a snowball.